November 04, 2010


I'm waiting here at Starbucks for Honda to finish with my 150,000 mile Civic.

i have a pretty decent cup of coffee, so at least i got that going for me.

The guy next to me though... he's...


January 17, 2010

Do the Math

Eleven guys walk into a basement to play poker at eight o'clock and are divided into two tables of five. Two guys have gone bust (one from each table) after the first couple of hours. It takes another two hours to claim just one more guy. By the sixth hour though, two combat-fatigued guys have flaked-out and gone kamikazee (losing everything in one suicidal hand). Then a phonecall from one guy's wife results in his premature cashout. The two tables are consolidated into one, but soon the host tips over onto the floor. After two more grueling hours, wherein the host has managed to crawl only halfway up the stairs to his sleeping quarters, the remaining guys split what's left of the pot (less than a couple hundred) and skulk home to beat the rising dawn.

i netted about $2.

Was it worth it?

October 07, 2009

Cloverfield vs. U2

It crouched menacingly over them like it was the biggest stage monster ever. According to the record keepers, it WAS the biggest stage monster ever. Over sixteen stories tall. A sprawling, four legged, space-crab alien-spider thing. Instead of venom-drippers, it had speaker fangs framing it's mandibles. The giant 360° video web hanging under it's abdomen not only flashed shockingly bright colors, it also expanded and contracted like it was trying to snatch and eat the bandmembers beneath it. It was just...

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September 28, 2009

Back Home In Broadbandland

San Francisco was, of course, picturesque. Oakland, however prepared i thought i was, was bleaker and more broke-down than my disbelieving eyes could take in. i suppose even the many hours spent driving & walking around each city wasn't enough to complete a full survey, but... wow. It's like looking at someone's gangrenous leg and wondering why they haven't DONE something about it yet. (Please forward to me your photos and anecdotes about all the great places in Oakland that i missed.)

Anyway, the A's beat the Rangers 12-3 and folkpop guitarist Antje Duvekot was really cool. The Sacramento airport was 101 degrees. Valley Springs (where my old man has a ranch) still only has one traffic light. (One light and zer0 cellphone towers.)

September 05, 2009

Overheard @ the Convention

"Daddy! Look at the purple hair lady! She's creepy."
-Little Boy Standing Right Next To Girl w/Purple Hair At Parade

"I'm serious, Michelle, we need this for our re-enactment."
-Young Man In Merchandise Area Holding Up Bloody Rubber Decapitated Head For Young Woman To Consider

"I call this my Lizard Rub."
-Woman Scratching Man Behind The Ears As He Holds What Appears To Be Her Pet Lizard

"What is that? A breakdancing fight?"
-Man Straining To See Over Crowd Which Has Formed A Circle And Is Cheering Loudly

September 04, 2009


Yes, it's everybody's favorite time of year. Time to watch stormtroopers on parade, time to get your picture taken with your favorite superhero, and time to have a conversation with your favorite comicbook artist. It's DragonCon time again. Downtown Atlanta is full of wookies and G.I. Joes and X-Men. The parade isn't 'til tomorrow morning at 10, but the streets are full of freaks, geeks, and gawkers. i myself can't wait to get back out there and take in the sights. If you've never been, it's a cultural milestone that has to be seen at least once in your lifetime. Check out for more details, but trust me... has to be seen.

My personal itinerary is as follows:

Friday: Browse the exibits and sign autographs. This evening, Joanderwoman and i will be relaxing with friends over cocktails in one of the hotel lobbies.

Saturday: Starting with the parade, we'll be spending another day, all day, at the Con. Dinner and cocktails downtown afterward.

Sunday: Morning golf with some associates in the 'burbs, back downtown for more Con action, then back out to the 'burbs for my fantasy football draft.

Monday: Wrapping up and breaking down DragonCon.

Come out and join us.

January 01, 2009

What a Difference a Day Makes

so this is the new year.
and i don't feel any different.
the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

so this is the new year
and I have no resolutions
for self assigned penance
for problems with easy solutions

so everybody put your best suit or dress on
let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
as thirty dialogues bleed into one

i wish the world was flat like the old days
then i could travel just by folding a map
no more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
there'd be no distance that can hold us back.

there'd be no distance that could hold us back (x2)

so this is the new year (x4)

[special thanks to Deathcab for Cutie and Barsuk Records]

October 17, 2008

In Which Keeferman Is Invited to Make a Recitation at the Wedding of Some Close Friends.

If you've read the book by Sandol Stoddard, then you know there's a particular tone required to convey the deep emotional message in I LIKE YOU. Fortunately, it doesn't require anything Shakespearian -and Keeferman was honored to give it a try.

If you've NOT read it yet, you definitely should give it a try yourself...

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October 07, 2008

I'm Going to The Show!

It's true! Thanks to Lebo, USman, and my beautiful wife -I'M GOING TO THE SOX/RAYS GAME this Saturday!

Woot! Roadtrip!

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September 02, 2008


There we were.
There we were.
There we were.
IN the Con(Dragon).
Making appearances and escorting our out-of-town guests around. Alllll day Friday.

We did the "Walk of Fame". I signed some autographs and we chatted-up some fans. Of course we hung out with some celebrities too. We checked out the art show and the acres of merchandise. It was cool. We took a break for dinner (with RayPark/DarthMaul among others) at Trader Vic's. Then it was back to the hotel lobby for cocktails late into the night (with RichardHatch/Apollo-Zarek among others). Much fun was had by all. But, wait, there's more...

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August 24, 2008


Joan had a High School reunion last night.

It wasn't as bad as i expected, but it wasn't NEARLY as much fun as that one Charlie Driggs went to in "Something Wild" (1986). The worst part was when Joan nixxed my bourbon&coke lineup and told me i was the one driving us home eventually. That came as a bit of a shock to me as I'd planned on buddying-up with Jack Daniels while Joan talked to all those strangers. Instead i just soberly watched people all night.

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July 19, 2007

Typhoon Joan Bearing Down on Hawaiian Islands

People of Hawaii, YOU ARE NOT PREPARED.

Bringing winds of 305 km/h (190 mph) and a record pressure of 870 hPa (mbar), Typhoon Joan is expected to make landfall at approximately 8:30pm local time.

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July 10, 2007

Spontaneous Cinetrope@Masquerade RSVP

It's kinda a mathematical formula. How much progress i make on the House (Hp) plus how Loved my wife has felt up to that point (L) times my eagerness (E) minus my laziness (z) divided by the inverse of my forgetfulness (F). I'm no Math major, but i guess you could say the chances of my going are (Hp+L)[(E-z)/(1/F)]. Likelihood increases toward 100% as the product approaches 1. Right now it's at about .7134 I'd say. Joan'll already be alittle offput at me for abandoning her last Saturday and then skipping Harry Potter this Wednesday to do trivia with the gang. I'm giving her as much quality time as i can, but with the house renovations and the other social diversions, it's really hard to gauge the L-factor this early. Hope to see you there though.


June 10, 2007

The Great American Pastime

"Perhaps it was an appearance in the stands by reknowned superhero Keeferman (with three associates identified only by their nicknames "Boo", "Griff", and "Josh") that inspired the Braves' turn-around. Alfonso Soriano and the Cubs crushed them Friday and jumped to a 4-0 lead in the first inning Saturday. Then the Braves did something they haven't done much at home lately.

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June 09, 2007

The ASO’s ‘Carmina Burana’, a Polish Treasure, and a Local Celebrity

"The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra’s season comes to a close this weekend, and to mark the occasion they offered up three of the greatest pleasures of live concerts. For the listener, these are hearing a superlative performance of a familiar work, discovering an unknown treasure, and getting the opportunity to rub elbows with local celebrities. They scored big on all fronts."

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