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Joan had a High School reunion last night.

It wasn't as bad as i expected, but it wasn't NEARLY as much fun as that one Charlie Driggs went to in "Something Wild" (1986). The worst part was when Joan nixxed my bourbon&coke lineup and told me i was the one driving us home eventually. That came as a bit of a shock to me as I'd planned on buddying-up with Jack Daniels while Joan talked to all those strangers. Instead i just soberly watched people all night.

Man, people are strange. Except i found this group to be alittle more "normal" than what i remember of my old highschool crew. Even relatively normal people are strange though if you watch 'em for long enough. And when you goto a reunion you notice that, of course, everybody's even more paranoid in their bodylanguage and greetings than they normally are. Everybody pretending not to be checking out everybody else and judging them. You see the darting eyes and the sideways glances and the ears straining to overhear other conversations. Then, even as a supposedly detached observer, you find yourself doing it too. It's like this mass hypnosis of social anxiety. It was great.

This is the enlightened year 2008 though and the thing that surprised me most (despite whatever economic/familial success they're having) is how most of these people don't seem to be taking very good care of themselves. There were leathery-skinned subjects who'd obviously been spending too much time in the sun (tanning booth). There were a whole bunch of people walking around with nametag pictures suggesting they used to be fairly athletic. Unfortunately most of those same people weren't just 10 or 15 pounds overweight now, they were into the "type 2 diabetes" category. Everybody's gonna lose alittle hair or get alittle grey (i have) and gain a few pounds (i have), but you can't just Give Up and slowly sink into a swamp of yourself. If you know you're getting older, you gotta try alittle harder. That's all. Gracefully, i mean. And, no, this does not mean the fools gold of a tan (increasing your chances of skin cancer) or plastic surgery (you're not fooling aNybody and it can be daNgerous). i dunno. Don't get me wrong. There were soMe people who looked like they had, indeed, been taking decent care. Kudos to them and anybody else who's gonna start. Anyway...


Of course my wife was the hottest, most-interesting woman there and i felt pretty fortunate to be the one by her side. -Except for the part where she made me the designated driver. We did hang out a with a lovely couple for most of the night and had passable conversations with a few others. Joan got to see some friends. i accumulated more data for the running sociology computer in my head. It wasn't a compLETE waste of an evening.

i wouldn't recomMend it, but it was alright.

i might even go to one of my oWn one day.