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August 31, 2009

My Fascinating New Hobby

Yes, I've taken up a new hobby. It's occupied my nights with labor and it's filled my days with giddy anticipation. For the last three weeks I've been dabbling in pastry-chefery. Specifically, I've been cooking different varieties of oatmeal cookies. It's gone far better than I'd even imagined and I'm GREATLY looking forward to cooking up another batch this week. It's gonna be awesome.

Oats are really good for you, right? Right. And i dig oatmeal for breakfast, so combine that with my unnatural attraction to cookies and you have a recipe for disaster. These cookies are supposed to be lower-calorie too, but I've developed a confounding problem. I bake dozens of cookies, i Eat dozens of cookies. All by myself. It's terrible.

The first week i made just regular oatmeal cookies. Oats and brown sugar -they were delicious (even though I'd cut the sugar content Way down). The second week i made CHOCOLATE oatmeal cookies. They too were delicious. Last week i made oatmeal cookies with apple and cranberries. Nice. Very nice. Oh, and I'd added whey powder for protein, so they're triply good for me not just for dessert, but also as a nutricious between-meal snack. I'm eating them as fast as i can. Those dozens aren't even gone yet though and I'm already thinking about the next batch (Oatmeal Cookie 4.0). One word:


i Highly encourage you to walk on the wild side yourself. The very basic recipe you'll find on almost any cannister of oatmeal is pretty much as follows...
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened [i go 3/4c or 1.5 stix]
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar [i don't pack firmly]
½ cup granulated sugar [i skip this entirely]
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1½ cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
3 cups of Quaker Oats (quick cook)
Preheat oven to 350° F. Beat together butter and sugars until creamy. Add eggs and vanilla extract; beat well. Add combined flour, baking soda; mix well. Slowly stir in oats. Drop by rounded tablespoon onto an ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 10 to 12 minutes or until golden brown. Cool 1 minute on sheet, remove to wire rack.

August 25, 2009


The second worst thing in the world happened to me last night. -No, no i didn't lose cable TV, so don't panic. i did, however, lose my home Internet connection. It was terrible. First i blamed my laptop. Then i blamed my wireless router. Eventually i discovered that it was my actual broadband connection.

i powercycled and reset and did everything i could. Then i had to call my provider. They ran a series of tests and determined that my modem had failed and they'd have to ship me a new one -which would take from 24 to 48 hours. Wait. What?


August 01, 2009

Keeferman Once Again Shoulders the Burden of Defense Against the Dark Arts

atlas.jpg Unfortunately there are alotta people out there who've heard someone talking about something somewhere and then passed it along sometime later without giving it the cautious skepticism that "bold and fresh" statements require. There're buzzwords in that hearsay -and I daresay we've heard them all. I presume you yourself are smart enough not to believe the hype, but alotta your teabagging friends might not be. It is because of Them that I'm reminded of the following quip: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: 'The Lord of the Rings' and 'Atlas Shrugged'. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

Our pseudo-intellectual friends (the ones who quote Ayn Rand or refer to Objectivism) are trying to lead us astray. They haVe to trick us into a number of false assumptions in order to then make their sweeping final point. The false assumptions include: "charity is for suckers", "government regulation is communism", and (most insidiously) "America is a nation of quitters".

Anyone who tells you America is a nation of quitters is probably not a sports fan and is probably not very patriotic either. Most of us know better than that. Americans aren't quitters, patriotism is a team sport, and talk is cheap.

The real world requires a government, a responsible populace, and balls. i prefer baseballs, but footballs are mighty fine too. If you hear any of your intellectually lazy friends sounding unpatriotic (or unsportsmanlike), you might direct them to any/all of the following reading material for a refresher course on What It Is to Persevere for No Other Reason Than It's the Right Thing to Do.
"The American Crisis" by Thomas Paine
"A Patriot's Handbook" by Caroline Kennedy
"The Bible"/"The Koran" by some old old dudes
"Invincible" by Vince Papale
"The Natural" By Bernard Malamud (of course this movie's based on a real life story too)

This though, is what happens when you hand beatmachines and microphones to overreaching Ivy Leaguers: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkeZ2P4SiY8