January 23, 2012


Superbowls make Keeferman cry.

August 25, 2009


The second worst thing in the world happened to me last night. -No, no i didn't lose cable TV, so don't panic. i did, however, lose my home Internet connection. It was terrible. First i blamed my laptop. Then i blamed my wireless router. Eventually i discovered that it was my actual broadband connection.

i powercycled and reset and did everything i could. Then i had to call my provider. They ran a series of tests and determined that my modem had failed and they'd have to ship me a new one -which would take from 24 to 48 hours. Wait. What?


March 24, 2009

[begin recording]

Note to Thumb:

Next week is a "short week" for me.

That means I'm ideally positioned to drop an unnoticed 8pm comedy bomb on Tuesday March 31st which should esplode nicely when somebody steps on it Wednesday April 1st and i don't gotta worry about no foolish repercussions or consequences 'cause i won't be here.

Please consider the following modest proposals...

Continue reading "[begin recording]" »

March 20, 2009

And Then Everybody Drank Kool-ade and Died

[BSG Spoiler Alert]

It was like frakkin Jonestown.

You can't possibly end a show as dark as Battlestar Galactica on a light note, but... this is one of the best shows ever. It's epic and we're on the verge of a Serious Television Legacy.

The first 60 minutes were pretty cool. Even when it seemed weak, it grew stronger. Just when i was thinking "you canNOT end thiS war in a tie", the ceasefire fell apart and they shot up the last of the evil cylons. Great. The next 10 minutes were a pleasant surprise too. "Wait. What? That's OUR Earth!" Great.

So why follow up those climaxes with the sighing of 30,000 people slowly becoming extinct? Dualla, i have to admit, made sense. Laura Roslin there was no denying. But... Apollo slumps off into obscurity? Adama goes into self-imposed exile while his son still lives? Chief goes off to self-imposed exile? Starbuck fricken just... disappears? WTF. Why not just have 'em huddle around a big pot, ladle some arsenic into their dixiecups, and get it over with?

Don't even get me started about 29,995 people (at the technological height of their civilization) agreeing to just disperse and go hardshipping it in the outback for the rest of their lives.

And what the heck with the fricken "angels among us" stuff at the end with them riffing on our chances? -Like it isn't compLETELY obvious that we're headed down exACTLY the same path ourselves with our our own stoopid civil wars and our own hunger for the yummy easy life that technology promises. Gosh, yeah, i woNder. What wiLL become of us? (Jeebus.)

Neil Young said it best: "It's better to burn out, than fade away."
Wait, yeah, didn't Buddy Holly say that too? "Not Fade Away".

Why did the producers go all t.s.eliot at the end there then?

"This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang
But a whimper"

January 12, 2009

I Have a Dream. (A very bad dream.)

Zombies hit the Obama administration and they hit it hard. The Secret Service did what they could, but they couldn't possibly have been prepared for wave after wave of the undead. And those brave guys in the Capitol Police went down fighting. By the time Homeland Security had mobilized, it was too late. The White House was gone.

Thank God my wife was safe.

Continue reading "I Have a Dream. (A very bad dream.)" »

June 11, 2007

Titillating News Stories

News story to pass around to your coworkers. –In the interest of news. Only because it’s newsworthy.

[From the New York Times]

“The breast-feeding fatwa came in mid-May. A religious scholar, who headed a department that studies the Prophet Muhammad’s teachings at the Foundation of Religion College of Al Azhar University, wrote that there had been instances in the time of the prophet when adult women breast-fed adult men in order to avoid the need for women to wear a veil in front of them.

Continue reading "Titillating News Stories" »