September 08, 2009

I Want To Send You To Mars

Thanks to my well-placed government connections, i can actually help you get to Mars. There's a radical new civilian program with absolutely no prerequisites whatsoever. Seriously. To get started, click on this link which'll direct you to NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory...

August 01, 2009

Keeferman Once Again Shoulders the Burden of Defense Against the Dark Arts

atlas.jpg Unfortunately there are alotta people out there who've heard someone talking about something somewhere and then passed it along sometime later without giving it the cautious skepticism that "bold and fresh" statements require. There're buzzwords in that hearsay -and I daresay we've heard them all. I presume you yourself are smart enough not to believe the hype, but alotta your teabagging friends might not be. It is because of Them that I'm reminded of the following quip: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: 'The Lord of the Rings' and 'Atlas Shrugged'. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

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December 25, 2008

Holiday Hubbub, Humbugs, and High Horses

i dunno how religious you are, but that's obviously the origin of these holidays -whatever they've come to mean to you. i know that alotta my friends and family are alittle skeptical regarding the more commercial aspects of the season. Me, i think the holidays are what you make of them. There's too much hubbub to ignore completely and you'll go crazy just hating on it. Focus on what you like, cast off what you don't like, and make the best of it.

i love it. Little kids unwrapping presents, holiday parties, and more people making more of an effort to be nice -that's what i get out of it. The social stuff. Then again, you gotta give alittle, right? I'm not talking about whether or not you (literally) buy into the commercialism of it. I'm talking about something alittle more big-picture than just celebrating with family or socializing out at some party. I'm talking about the potential Civic aspects of it.

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August 27, 2008

Bullet the Grey Sky

The sky ripped open
and rain poured through the gaping wound.
Pounding the erstwhile mechanic.
Pounding the erstwhile mechanic.

Keeferman huddled over the exposed engine block as water washed down his face and off his nose, falling into a focal point on the wet battery leads he was trying to reconnect. It was a tight spot and the wet wrench kept slipping off greased terminals. Eventually though, he got it.

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June 26, 2008

i Saved a Life Today (and you can too).

i donated blood.

Actually, i donated Platelets. That's what they needed. i walked in intending to donate blood, but they said they really needed platelets. Okay then. I'd never done that before, so they told me what it was all about.

If you didn't already know, platelets are the part of your blood most-responsible for clotting. When people are undergoing chemotherapy, or they're transplant patients, or they have some unusual blood disease, their platelets are down and they don't have the same ability to control bleeding that healthy people have. Particularly-sick people need our platelets.

First you have to prove that you, yourself, are healthy enough to donate, so they give you a mini-physical. Fortunately my blood pressure and iron were both good. -Oh, and they give you a quiz. "Have you taken aspirin in the last 48 hours?" No. "Have you ever been to Haiti?" No. "Have you spent more than five years in Europe?" No. "Do you work or play with monkeys?" No! Then you engage the doctor in a staring contest. If she blinks first, you Pass.

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