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July 19, 2007

Typhoon Joan Bearing Down on Hawaiian Islands

People of Hawaii, YOU ARE NOT PREPARED.

Bringing winds of 305 km/h (190 mph) and a record pressure of 870 hPa (mbar), Typhoon Joan is expected to make landfall at approximately 8:30pm local time.

Representatives of the Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC) have issued a number of rather peculiar warnings. Residents are advised to stockpile plenty of red wine (a nice merlot maybe), chicken (not pork or beef or soy), and chocolate as the storm is expected to remain over the Islands at least until 1:25pm Monday the 23rd. Reconnaissance aircraft have reported that Joan seems not all that fond of surfing or snorkeling or boating or hiking, but it's hoped that she might be convinced otherwise. A combination of reconnaissance aircraft and satellite imagery also seemed to indicate that she's headed straight toward Pearl Harbor and some volcanoes and maybe some helicopters too.

July 17, 2007

I dreamt about John Edwards and the Foo Fighters.

John Edwards had bloodily murdered two women (in what felt like spontaneous/accidental circumstances) and I was trying to convince him to turn himself in. We were at his cabin in the woods and I was worried that the police were going to find out (with me as an Accessory After the Fact) before I got him to confess and surrender. It was a long dream. In the presence of his weeping family, I finally convinced him, shook his hand, and told him he would’ve made a great President (except for the murderin’ i suppose). The police then drove him away.

I was some kind of an administrator at a Middle School and I was escorting the Foo Fighters around the hallways. Every once in a while I’d open the door to a classroom, we’d go in, and the Foo Fighters would play one of their tunes for the kids. At the end, after a performance of “Everlong” to one of the classes, I told Dave Grohl that it was one of the finest lovesongs ever written (IT IS).

P.S. The REAL John Edwards is a good man, an excellent candidate, and will make a great President if given the opportunity.

[Update: It turns out he DID have something to hide. Fortunately he got over himself and his wife forgave him. Maybe he can serve as a life-lesson to somebody approaching "MidLife Crisis" time.]

July 16, 2007

Don't Quit Your Day Job


"Event Parking $25"?!

There is NO WAY I'm going to suddenly pay $25 today to park where it was $5 on Friday. So i drive on by and keep looking. "$15"? No, that's triple. "$20"? No. What the hellio is going on today? How big can a convention be if I've not heard anything about it? Why are they jacking up the parking lots? This is absoludicrous.

I circle the block... $20, $15, $25. No. i zig-zag... $25, $15, $30! No. i backtrack all the way to the co-located building about ten blocks away from our main HQ and pull into the $3 lot there, but the machine says it wants $15. No way. No no no. I'm not paying triple what i normally pay and then QUINTUPLE what this lot normally charges. That's ridunkulous.

i make a wider circle... $20, $30, $25. I am nOt going to submit. Actually, i can't afford to. There hAs to be another way. There hAs to be a lot around here (any block now) where it's not $15-$30 to park. I'm not a millionaire like the CEO of the tech company where i work. I'm just a regular guy. And there's got to be some regular parking around here.

I found myself back near our co-location again. There's another parking lot over here. There's no sign though, so maybe... I park and enter my "lot number" into the machine... And it's calculating... And... "$10". -I'll pay that! I'll pay $10! That's double what i usually pay and I'll have to skip lunch today, but I'll pay that.

During the long (lonnng) walk from 101 I'm calculating how much money i lost driving around downtown instead of clocking into ADI. I'm still "ahead" 'cause i went $10 instead of $20/$25, but it hAs cost me some lunch money. Great.

P.S. i know what you're thinking. "Why doesn't he just have monthly parking someplace?" Well, do the math. i work at my day job only four days a week and one of those days is a Sunday (free parking downtown). i need to pay only about twelve times in a workmonth. It'd be a waste to spend $85 for a spot that I'm only going to need for $60-worth of time. $25 x 12 months = $300/year. It's not worth it. (Except today of course.)

July 12, 2007


Yes, even mighty Keeferman has a mom to whom he must give (brief but) mad props. She's the best.


I baked you a cake, but i eated it.
Instead, i offer you the immortal words of Cibo Matto from their song
"Birthday Cake":
Shut up and eat!
Too bad, no bon appetit!
Shut up and eat!
You know my love is sweet!
Shut up and eat!
Too bad, no bon appetit!
Shut up and eat!
You know my love is very sweet!



July 10, 2007

Spontaneous Cinetrope@Masquerade RSVP

It's kinda a mathematical formula. How much progress i make on the House (Hp) plus how Loved my wife has felt up to that point (L) times my eagerness (E) minus my laziness (z) divided by the inverse of my forgetfulness (F). I'm no Math major, but i guess you could say the chances of my going are (Hp+L)[(E-z)/(1/F)]. Likelihood increases toward 100% as the product approaches 1. Right now it's at about .7134 I'd say. Joan'll already be alittle offput at me for abandoning her last Saturday and then skipping Harry Potter this Wednesday to do trivia with the gang. I'm giving her as much quality time as i can, but with the house renovations and the other social diversions, it's really hard to gauge the L-factor this early. Hope to see you there though.

SHOUT OUT http://cinetrope.net/calendar.html