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The Honeymoon Is Definitely Over

It’s been a crazy week or so. Lots of catering stuff from the reception to sort, clean, box, and store. We’ve transported about 5 carloads of stuff around town. Joan finally got the wedding clutter (itineraries, maps, and bills spread all over three tables in our crowded condo) resolved. We’re both settled back into the grind of work and we’ve even attended a Christmas party already. The only problem is... now i have a WIFE. Say goodbye to footloose and fancy-free Keeferman. Say hello to old and mundane Mr. Joan's Husband. Grrrreat.

Thank you, once again, for your support of my recent nuptuals. As my first marriage, it’s bound to be the most significant. –And you were there.

Joan never noticed my that i wore my “Docs” (Doc Martens workboots) instead of my shiny pointy tuxedo shoes. She was, however, mortified when she found out about them. She’s since gone on to poll her coworkers and many of them did, indeed, notice, so her mortification (and my amusement) is compounded further. It (the act) made it all (my participation in a very painstaking ritual) bearable.

I was alittle surprised at how... "religious" the actual wedding ceremony turned out to be. Joan’s parents are certainly very religious and the pastor was chosen, in deference, from their church. We never really got into the Details of what he would actually say, but jeebus there was a lot more Jesus in it than I’d expected. –And don’t even ask me about the awkwardness of the phrase “suck the marrow”. Could you please say “suck” a few More times in the midst of our vows, Pastor?

We had fun at the reception. If only there were more leftover food. Even though I’m not one for institutional rituals and I’m not much of a dancer, i had fun. Thanks for everything.

Let me tell you about the honeymoon...

Thanksgiving was just as terrible as I’d hoped. Joan’s deaf and infirm ninetynine-year-old grandmother (seriously/literally 99 years) was a hoot. The mob of children rioting over toys, food, and supervision was very relaxing. I must say that the fact that my mom & sister ratcheted the Exasperated Sighs Contest down to “low” was an unexpected surprise. Thank you. -Although an anecdote, later related, of Joan’s dad choking on his turkey when my mom asked, at the dinner table, if one of his elder family members was gay -caused me to cringe alittle. Of course Keeferman didn’t get to sit at the adult table in the dining room with the respectable people. Keeferman got to sit at the little fold-up table, with the fold-up chairs (and slobbering babies) in the living room. i was the one of the few at the table without a bib and i don’t think any of the others had fork, knife, or spoon. Grubby grabby hands EVERYWHERE. We were there for almost five grueling hours. Thank you for your part in another wonderful family holiday. Maybe we can do it all again next year.

Our flight to Montreal was on time though. And empty. It was great. Two hours of silence after two weeks of frantic activity. The idea was that we’d arrive in Montreal and then drive downriver to Quebec City. We stopped for lunch at a some chicken place inbetween. Joan said it was like a cross between France and Idaho. Lots of farmers, truck drivers, and people speaking French. I think we were the only tourists on the road that day. Even though we were taking the scenic/upper route, we didn’t see anything interesting. Alotta grain silos and some moose signs, but... nothing really. Just boring Canadian suburban countryside.

Quebec (City) was really really cool. It’s kinda small and there’s a walled “old” city in the middle of it. It’s vertical too. Hills and cliffs right in the middle of the city. We stayed in the old part of the city and it was very pedestrian. Alotta narrow alleys and stairs. Quaintly European. The people were cool. They’d start out speaking French, but then immediately switch to English when they realized you were an American. Whatever. Good times. We just chilled. Walked around, went out to restaurants. We went into shops, but we didn’t have any money to actually Buy anything, so... just touring.

Back in the U.S. of A.

I just heard that Tuesday night trivia has been cancelled due to new management at our old bar. JUST when i decided upon a grand name for our five person team. We were gonna be The Floccinaucinihilipilificationists. Floccinaucinihilipilification (flossy-nossy-neehill-pilli-fication) is “the act or habit of estimating or describing something as worthless, or making something to be worthless by deprecation”. That’s us. We’re trivializers. We’re The Floccinaucinihilipilificationists. (Only now... we’re not.)

Tomorrow I’m going to see Tenacious D with the crew. Yes, mom, you’ve heard of them. http://www.tenaciousd.com

More to follow, but this epistle was long overdue, so...

There.

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